How Milspecs Live Forever

I mentioned the other day the need to be careful in establishing standards as they tend to live forever. Here is another example of a milspec (military specification, aka "standard") that has stood the test of time. I saw this years ago passed around on a sheet of paper. For those of you too young to remember, before the advent of e-mail, we all kept a "Humor" folder in our desk with faded copies of the various jokes and witicisms that got passed around the office. This one goes way back.

Techie or Mass Murderer?

Can you judge someone by looking at them? Try the test at the link below. Look at each picture and decide if he is a computer geek or a serial killer. Go with your gut feeling and click on you choice.

There are ten photos. You'll get a score at the end so come back here and let us know how you did. I scored 6 out of 10.

malevole.com/mv/misc/killerquiz

Abbott & Costello: Buying a Computer

If young enough that you've never heard Abbott & Costello's "Who's on First" routine, you should find it. It is absolutely a classic. In fact, once you've heard it I bet you can think of at least a half a dozen spin-offs of it. If you're too young to know who Abbot & Costello are, Google them.

Computer people sometimes don't understand that this is how we sound to people who aren't as wrapped up in technology as we are.

Costello Calls to Buy a Computer from Abbott

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking about buying a computer.
ABBOTT: Mac?
COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
ABBOTT: Your computer?
COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
ABBOTT : Mac?
COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
ABBOTT: What about Windows?
COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?
ABBOTT: Wallpaper.
COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
ABBOTT: I just did.
COSTELLO: You just did what?
ABBOTT: Recommend something.
COSTELLO: You recommended something?
ABBOTT: Yes.
COSTELLO: For my office?
ABBOTT: Yes
COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
ABBOTT: Office.
COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Window's.
COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
ABBOTT: Word.
COSTELLO: What word?
ABBOTT: Word in Office.
COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.
ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?
ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.
COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: That's right What do you have?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
ABBOTT: Money.
COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
ABBOTT: One copy.
COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

(A few days later)
ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?
COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?
ABBOTT: Click on 'START'

Ode to the Defrag

Remember the old Windows Defrag tool? It popped up the screen full of boxes and then dutifully went about rearranging the boxes as it moved through your hard drive. There was something therapeutic about the way it systematically cleaned and organized those little boxes and, ultimately, your hard drive as it pulled a scattered mass of boxes and placed them so neatly in rows. I miss that interface. The new Defrag is lifeless and boring.

Someone should write a new Defrag with the vintage interface. While you're at it, that same interface could be used for "remove" portion of Add & Remove Programs. Surely we can come up with some more interesting interfaces than what we currently have... where's the imagination?

Nominate Yours Today

www.RobotHallofFame.org

Chatronyms

These are shortcuts that are commonly used in chat and instant messaging programs. As a parent of children who chat, it might behoove you to become familiar with some of these.

?	Huh?
?4u	Question for you
2l8	Too Late
2u2	To you too
4gm	Forgive me
4rl?	For real?
aamof	As a matter of fact
aayf	As always, your friend
afaik	As far as I know
afk	Away from keyboard
aka	Also known as
asap	As soon as possible
asl	Age, sex, location?
aslp	Age, sex, location, picture?
atm	At the moment
atys	Anything you say
awa	As well as
b/c	Because
b4	Before
b4n	Bye for now
bac	Back at computer
bak	Back at keyboard
bbiab	Be back in a bit
bbl	Be back Later
bbs	Be back soon
bc	Be cool
bcnu	Be seein' you
bd	Big deal
bf	Boyfriend
bfd	Big freakin' deal
bfn	Bye for now
bil	Brother in law
bme	Based on my experience
bot	Back on topic
brb	Be right back
brh	Be right here
btdt	Been there, done that
btw	By the way
bytm	Better you than me
cmiiw	Correct me if I'm wrong
cu	See You
cul	Catch you Later, See you later
cul8r	Catch you Later, See you later
cus	See you soon
cwot	Complete waste of time
cya	See ya
cyl	Catch you Later, See you later
dbeyr	Don't believe everything you read
dhyb	Don't hold your breath
diik	Darned if I know
diy	Do it yourself
dqydj	Don't quit your day job
eak	Eating at keyboard
eg	Evil grin
eod	End of discussion
eol	End of lecture
eor	End of rant
f2f	Face to face
fcol	For crying out loud
fitb	Fill in the blanks
fnb	Football and beer
focl	Falling off of chair laughing
fofl	Falling on the floor laughing
fwiw	For what it's worth
fya	For your amusement
fyi	For you information
g	Grin
g2g	Got to go
ga	Go ahead
ga	Good afternoon
gal	Get a life
gas	Greetings and salutations
gbh	Great big hug
ge	Good evening
gf	Girlfriend
gfn	Gone for now
gg	Good game
gi	Good idea
gicbts	Gosh, I can't believe that stuff
gicby	Gosh, I can't believe you
giwisi	Gee, I wish I said it
gj	Good job
gl	Good luck
gm	Good morning
gm	Good move/match
gmta	Great minds think alike
gn	Good night
gr8	Great
gtg	Got to go
h	Hug
H&K	Hugs and kisses
h/o	Hold on
hagd	Had a good day
hand	Have a nice day
hb	Hug back
hcit	How cool is that?
hf	Have fun
hhsf	Ha ha, so funny
hhvf	Ha ha, very funny
ho	Hold on
hoas	Hold on a second
hth	Hope this helps
iac	In any case
iag	It's all good
iagw	In a good way
ib2d	I beg to differ
ic	I see
idig	I don't get it
idk	I don't know
idndt	I didn't do that
iirc	If I remember correctly
ik	I know
ikwum	I know what you mean
imao	In my arrogant opinion
ime	In my experience
imhbmao	In my humble but most accurate opinion
imho	In my humble opinion
imnsho	In my not so humble opinion
inrs	It's not rocket science
iow	In other words
irl	In real life
iswym	I see what you mean
j/k	Just kidding
j/p	Just playing
jmho	Just my humble opinion
jtlyk	Just to let you know
k	Ok
kir	Keepin' it real
kiss	Keep it simple, stupid
kit	Keep in touch
kity	Keep it to yourself
kwim	Know what I mean?
kysoti	Keep your stick on the ice
l8r	Later
lmao	Laughing my a__ off!
lmbo	Laughing my butt off!
lmk	Let me know
lol	Laughing out loud
ltns	Long time, no see
ltr	Long term relationship
lum	Love you, man
lyk	Let you know
lylab	Love you like a brother
lylas	Love you like a sister
m8	Mate (friend)
me2	Me too
mma	Meet me at…
mmamp	Meet me at my place
moo	My own opinion
myob	Mind your own business
n/c	Not cool
n2m	Not too much
nbd	No big deal
ne1	Anyone
nfw	No freakin' way
nlt	No later than
nm	Nevermind
nm	Not much
nmh	Not much here
nmjc	Nothin' much, just chillin'
nnito	Not necessarily in that order
no1	No one
nottomh	Not off the top of my head
noyb	None of your business
np	No problem
nrn	No reply necessary
nvm	Nevermind
nw	No way
oic	Oh, I see
omg	Oh my gosh
omohod	one minute, one hour, one day
onna	Oh no, not again
ooc	Out of character
ot	Off topic or Other topic
otoh	On the other hand
pimp	Peed in my pants (used w/ROFL)
plz	Please
pos	Parent over shoulder
ppl	People
qt	Cutie
resq	Rescue
rfc	Request for comment
rhip	Rank has its privileges
rof	Rolling on floor
rofl	Rolling on floor laughing
rtfm	Read the fine manual or Read the flippin' manual
s/b	Should be
scnr	Sorry, could not resist
sk8	Skate
sly	Still love you
sos	Someone Special
sos	Same old stuff
sos	Sibling over shoulder
ssdd	Same stuff, different day
str8	Straight
swak	Sealed with a kiss
swalk	Sweet, with all love, kisses
swdywtta	So what did you want to talk about?
sysop	System Operator
tbc	To be continued
tc	Take care
tc	That's cool
tco	Taken care of
tgif	Thank goodness it's Friday
thx	Thanks
tia	Thanks in advance
tma	Take my advice
tmi	Too much information
tnx	Thanks
toh	The other half
ttfn	Ta ta for now
ttyl	Talk to you later
ttys	Talk to you soon
ttyvs	Talk to you very soon
twimc	To whom it may concern
ty	Thank you
tyvm	Thank you very much
u2	You too
ur	You are
ur	Your
ursktm	You are so kind to me
vbg	Very big grin
w/	With
w/e	Whatever
w/o	Without
w2f	Way too funny
w8	Wait
w8am	Wait a minute
wb	Welcome back
wb	Write back
wc	Who cares
wdmb	Will do my best
we	Whatever
wnditwb	We never did it this way before
wrt	With regard to
wtg	Way to go
wwjd	What would Jesus do?
xoxoxo	Hugs and kisses
y	Why?
ymmv	Your mileage may vary
yoyo	You're on your own
yrg	You are good!
yvw	You're very welcome
yw	You're welcome